by James Bryson

Like many parents during the season of Coronatide, my wife and I began to homeschool our children and never looked back.

The forced closure of schools worldwide during the pandemic gave families insight into the virtues of keeping their sons and daughters at home and teaching them themselves. Estimates in the United States suggest that the number of homeschooling families has doubled compared to pre-COVID numbers and has remained strong ever since.

Homeschooling has long been misunderstood. The stereotype in the minds of those skeptical or hostile to homeschooling is that of a family that is either ignorant, anti-social, or worse.

A recent paper out of Harvard goes so far as to advocate a "presumptive ban" on homeschooling as an institution that belies democratic values and is exploited by abusive parents.

Homeschooling parents do not care if their child gets on in the world. Inevitably, homeschooled children will become a burden on the system and get locked into a cycle of generational poverty, perhaps even a life of crime. If they grow up and develop any political awareness at all, their vote will go to the wrong party for the wrong reasons.https://www.theepochtimes.com/bright/how-to-respond-to-naysayers-when-homeschooling-5983795?ea_src=author_manual&ea_med=related_stories

The reality, however, is far different from this grim fiction.

Homeschoolers outperform their public-school counterparts on standardized tests such as the SAT, report higher emotional satisfaction later in life, demonstrate greater political tolerance, are more likely to volunteer their time, and are less likely to engage in substance abuse.

But these statistics come from studies that make predictions based on large sample sizes; they don’t really help you or me figure out what is best for our children. As Mark Twain reminds us, there are lies, damned lies, and then there are statistics.

Parents do not want social science or statistics read at them; they want to hear from other parents who have been there, done that. They want to hear from people who are struggling along with them; they want to feel seen. Parenting is often a lonely road to haul.

Right off the bat, it is important to recognize that many families would like to homeschool, but it is simply not possible for them. Both parents may need to work; single parents almost certainly do. Some try, and it doesn’t work for their children. Others live near an excellent school, so why expend the time and energy?

My wife and I are careful not to make anyone we talk to about the merits of homeschooling, many of whom share our values, feel judged at all. We are all just muddling through in this life. In a world where fewer and fewer are even choosing to have children, it is already an act of great courage to welcome children into the world and worry about how they will manage in it.

If you experience guilt about how you are raising your children, that means you love them. This is far and away the most important thing for a child. If you genuinely will the good of your child, everything else will fall into place somehow or other.

All parents, even the best I know, battle feelings of guilt about what more they could do, or might have done, for their children. Join the club, you are in excellent company.

The homeschooling club is also excellent company, but the initiation fee is pricey. If you start to homeschool your child, you are likely to stumble upon the reality of what initiates call "unschooling," a process that involves not just the children but the entire family.

What I instinctively disliked, but slowly grew accustomed to against my better judgment when my eldest started kindergarten, was the de facto level of control the school had over virtually every aspect of my son’s life, and ours, by extension.

Once your child begins school, your daily routine, holidays, and even after-school hours—in the form of this thing called "homework"—are based on decisions taken and schedules set by the school.

It takes time to get used to calling your own shots, for both children and parents.

What you lose in the form of routine, income, and personal time, you win back in the form of genuine freedom, everywhere you turn. Your time with your child is now completely your own, to dispense with as you see fit. His habits, social circle, and what he learns morally, intellectually, and spiritually become your responsibility.

The peace of mind that follows from this newfound liberty is difficult to overstate. No longer do you have to fear the disproportionate influence of peers, the friend with the cell phone and no filter on it, the authoritarian teacher with a chip on his shoulder, the lice epidemic.

Your child, in turn, can now follow his interests at his own pace. My 12-year-old fixes all the neighborhood lawnmowers. I did not put him up to it; it just happened—no chance if he was in school all day. My 10-year-old knows the specs of every single plane that took off in World War II. Even after their formal work is complete for the day, there remain large chunks of time—and most importantly, energy—for reading and creative play.

Very quickly, you discover an entire subculture. Homeschooling families are great to know. They are sensible about diet, encourage their children to play outside, are active in and knowledgeable about the community, and are very strict about screen time; some may not even have these devices in the home that are ruining the minds of an entire generation.

Schools are increasingly flexible about homeschoolers joining PE class, a sports team, or taking high school calculus or chemistry. Local clubs may even have a "homeschooling" slot during the day, when, say, the swim coaches have fewer children to chase and better energy to teach.

This is not to downplay the challenges of homeschooling. Your energy and patience will be tested. It is hard to produce your own curriculum, decide what subjects to prioritize, or have any working sense of how your children are doing compared to their peers. It is not for everyone—certainly not the faint of heart.

If you do feel this is something your family can take on, how’s this for a little push? No teacher will ever care for your children as you do, listen as closely to them when they read, or understand the fullness of their burgeoning emotional life.

Your children are children only once. Every parent will tell you childhood flies by too quickly. During these brief years of wonder and joy, homeschooling is a way of slowing the passage of time.

Looking back on your life as a homeschool parent, I think it is safe to say that you will be filled with the deepest and most important emotion we are offered in this world: gratitude.