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Study finds materialistic spouses more likely to have marriage problems...

Parents, are you so blind that you do not investigate, or ask your children what has happened in their classes today at school? Show you no interest as you go about the world gathering materialism, and seeking to break your home apart by husband and wife going in both directions; neither do they work together to hold the home together, but they work apart, many leaving the children astray by not having counsel over them.” – Our Lady of the Roses, September 27, 1986

LifeSiteNews reported on March 7, 2007:

The first-ever study to examine the impact of materialism on marital satisfaction found that highly materialistic spouses are about 40 percent more likely than non materialistic spouses to experience high levels of financial problems, which consequently harm their marital satisfaction. What's more, the impact of materialism held true across all income levels.

"For years there has been an emphasis on learning proper saving and budgeting techniques to avoid marital conflict over financial issues," said Jason Carroll, BYU assistant professor of family life and author of the study (subscription required) in the new issue of the Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal. "But our study found that financial problems have as much to do with how we think about money as they do with how we spend money."

Carroll's study showed that materialism has an indirect effect on overall marital satisfaction by increasing the frequency of financial problems.

"For a highly materialistic spouse or couple, it takes less financial disturbance to trigger a financial problem," Carroll explained. "Some would say, 'I'm not living a good life and I don't have a good marriage if we can't afford to go on that vacation or purchase designer décor for our home,' where a less materialistic spouse would not view these limitations as a major issue."

The study looked at a nationally representative sample of 600 married couples, selected so that it reflected national averages in terms of ethnic composition, religious affiliation and socioeconomic levels. All spouses reported their household income level, the degree to which financial matters have been a problem in their relationship, their own level of materialism and their overall level of satisfaction with their marriage.

About 35 percent of the sample reported high levels of materialism, while the remaining 65 percent had low materialism. The materialistic spouses reported more financial problems on average, regardless of income.Using complex statistical analyses, Carroll's research team found that materialism among one or both spouses was more predictive of the extent of a couple's financial problems than their income. The model also connected this higher level of financial problems with lower marital satisfaction.

"This study suggests that spouses set their own threshold for what they view as a money problem," Carroll said. "If spouses are overly materialistic, their threshold will be quite low, thereby increasing the likelihood that finances will be a problem in their marriages."

Carroll said that materialism may increase financial problems in marriage in two ways:

· A spouse may use money unwisely in chasing unreasonable materialistic expectations, therefore causing actual money problems

· Materialistic expectations may cause a spouse to interpret a financial situation negatively, leading to more complaints and conflicts, even when another couple with similar financial resources won't have such conflicts because of lower expectations.

That's why expectations are a key part to solving money problems in marriage, Carroll said.

"We need to rethink the idea that financial problems are always money problems" he said. "We need to start adjusting how much materialistic issues factor into our idea of what makes a good marriage and family life."

For starters, Carroll gave the following four recommendations:

1. Separate needs from wants. It is often said, "Yesterday's luxuries have become today's necessities." In today's consumer culture, it is important for couples to carefully distinguish between their "needs" and their "wants" when it comes to family spending.

2. Check financial benchmarks. Many people do not see their financial expectations are too high because they compare their spending habits to others who have more. Couples who typically compare themselves to others who have more than they do frequently develop a sense of entitlement and resentment, while couples who see their situation through the eye of those who have less are more likely to foster a sense of gratitude in their lives.

3. Focus on the simple. The saying goes, "The most important things in life are not things." While easy to say, this phrase is much harder to live. Financial strain in marriage, brought on by high materialistic expectations, often causes couples to not fully appreciate the simple aspects of their relationship that money cannot buy.

4. Lower expectations. Financial problems in marriage are as much about expectations as they are about behaviors. Lowering financial expectations can benefit marriages in two ways. First, spouses will be more willing to avoid making purchases that create debt and stress in their relationship and, second, spouses will be more inclined to interpret their current situation with more gratitude and optimism.

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"They will do as they have done in the past in honor of the Father; and in the path of the Father, they will listen to their husbands and honor their husbands within the home. If they do thus, they will receive honor from their children. The example in the homes is very, very poor.
     "So husbands, now, you will act with love to your wives, but you will keep them in discipline. Many of them have lost their way. Discipline. And wives, honor your husbands and do your role as mothers in honor to your God. We see the example of the homes is very poor....
     "Womanhood must be returned to the state in which the Father created it. Right at this moment a great chastisement is coming upon you, for you have cast aside your role as women. This you will not do without receiving great chastisement.
     "There will be division in homes unless the fathers stand forth as examples to their sons and daughters, and the mothers return to their roles as mothers in the light of God, the Father." - Our Lady of the Roses, April 13, 1974

Our Lady of the Roses awesome Bayside Prophecies... http://www.tldm.org/../Bayside/   These prophecies came from Jesus, Mary, and the saints to Veronica Lueken at Bayside, NY, from 1968 to 1995.

MAN ALWAYS HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD
"My child, you understand well why this direction is no longer accepted upon earth. You have now a new rebellious group called ERA, 'equal rights for women.' O My children, what a delusion this is among you! Do you not recognize that you will lose more than you shall ever gain because you defy the direction of the Eternal Father.
     "Paul the Apostle wrote down the words given to him by My Son, Jesus. Adam was created in the image of God as man, and woman was given unto him as his helper. As such, My children, man must always be the head of the household. There shall not be strength in a home divided." - Our Lady, July 15, 1978 

HUSBAND AND WIFE GOING IN BOTH DIRECTIONS
"A foul situation has come about in the schools, both public and private.  They are now teaching sex education, My children.  And this is a debauchery of your young souls.  Parents, are you so blind that you do not investigate, or ask your children what has happened in their classes today at school?  Show you no interest as you go about the world gathering materialism, and seeking to break your home apart by husband and wife going in both directions; neither do they work together to hold the home together, but they work apart, many leaving the children astray by not having counsel over them.” – Our Lady, September 27, 1986

TO BE WITH HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD
"The Eternal Father set up women not to be priests and not to be murderers, but to be with the head of the household a guiding light for their children. Each child to the Eternal Father is a pure blessing upon mankind, but all this has been lost in the name of modernism. Immodesty reigns in your country. There are many reasons why the Eternal Father feels that it is now time to do something about all of these abnormalities.” – Jesus, October 1, 1988

LOVE AND GOOD LEADERSHIP
"Please, I ask you mothers, monitor your children's lives. Do not be an escapist, running from home and finding pleasures of the world. Bring a prayer life back to your children before it is too late. You will be held accountable for the fall of the souls of the children. Therefore, I ask parents throughout the world--with love and good leadership in the household, your children will not fall as prey to satan." – St. Theresa, June 18, 1991

WOMAN MUST BE SUBSERVIENT TO MAN
"A woman must be subservient to man. She is not a chattel; she is a helper of man and husband. But a woman must speak to man. She must not assert herself unrightly in the houses of God.” – St. Theresa, October 2, 1975

PSYCHOLOGISTS/PSYCHIATRISTS RATIONALIZING SIN
"Much, My children, you must accept in faith.  Scientists of your world and your psychologists and psychiatrists rationalize everything, until sin is accepted as a way of life--scientists who are ever searching but never coming to the truth!  The supernatural cannot be rejected, because if you reject the supernatural, you do not have the armor to fight it.  It is a crafty plan of satan to make himself unknown, so that he may go among you, and destroying like a ravenous wolf.” – Our Lady, December 7, 1977

KEEPERS OF THEIR SOULS
"My children, you will keep a firm foundation of faith in the hearts of your children. You cannot expect others to do this fatherly and motherly obligation. You as mothers and fathers are the keepers for the souls of your children, and as such you are held accountable in the eyes of all Heaven for the fall of your children's souls. You will also as parents battle satan as he seeks to destroy your families. It will be father against son and mother against daughter, division in the homes, as satan becomes stronger in his conquest.” – Our Lady, April 1, 1978 
 

MAJOR MARTYRS
“My children, do not allow the enemies to take from you the knowledge of the existence of Heaven, hell, and purgatory. Your children are the major, now, the major martyrs--and I say martyrs. Be it not for the laxity of the parents, the schools, and many in My Son's Church, many of you parents would not be shedding this evening tears of remorse and grief at the loss of your children, knowing not whether they have been saved or lost forever. I say unto you, from the merciful heart of your Mother: Cry not, mother. The Eternal Father is most pitiful upon you. He has opened His heart to many of your children, not judging them by false leaders." – Our Lady, November 25, 1978 
 

READ BIBLE TO CHILDREN
“You will all keep a constant vigilance of prayer going throughout your country and the world. I admonish all parents now to spend at least fifteen minutes of your day reading the Bible to your children and your family. It is now a command from the Eternal Father! For the little children no longer know or recognize the angel guardians. The little children have no conception of the truth of the Divinity or the existence of My Son. The little children are now being taught the ways of satan.” – Our Lady, November 21, 1977 
 

FIRM FOUNDATION OF FAITH
“My children, you will keep a firm foundation of faith in the hearts of your children.  You cannot expect others to do this fatherly and motherly obligation.  You as mothers and fathers are the keepers for the souls of your children, and as such you are held accountable in the eyes of all Heaven for the fall of your children’s souls.  You will also as parents battle satan as he seeks to destroy your families.” – Our Lady, April 1, 1978 
 

PROGRAMMED TO KILL
“Your children are being programmed to kill! Your children will be unrecognizable if you as parents do not act to stop this evil!
     “Satan has an advantage, My children. He has convinced many that he is not there or around or even exists. He has convinced many that he is a myth. How clever he has been in his operation, My children!” – Our Lady, December 31, 1977 
 

ENCOURAGED BY SCHOOLS, TEACHERS
"Children will continue to rise up against their parents, being encouraged by their schools, their teachers, their news medis, and all the medias that have been well planned to seduce the souls of your children." – Jesus, July 25, 1979 
 

LEFT TO WANDER
“There must be a constant vigilance within the homes. Parents must not be caught up in the cares of their worldly living, in their pursuit of pleasure and entertainment, and leave their children to wander, undisciplined, unguided, and falling into sin and the loss of their souls." – Our Lady, September 7, 1976 
 

SUPERVISE TEACHING
"Parents must have firm discipline in the home. Parents must supervise the teaching of their children." – Our Lady, August 5, 1977
 

VICTIMS OF YOUR LAXITY
“My children, your children, parents, are the victims now of your laxity. They are the victims of their elders. All foul manner of acts are being taught them in their schools, in their secret societies. And why? Because you as parents are too lax in your duty. You flitter to and fro looking for pleasures and gathering the materials of your world. And for what? For I shall soon make them as naught, nothing." – Our Lady, November 1, 1977 

Directives from Heaven...  http://www.tldm.org/directives/directives.htm

D167 - The Family - Part 1 PDF
D168 - The Family - Part 2 PDF
D235 - Disciplining children   PDF
D248 - Man's authority  PDF   
D249 - Fathers  PDF
D250 - Mothers  PDF 

Articles...

Fathers:
The Holy Bible on man's authority in the household
http://www.tldm.org/News7/BibleOnMan'sAuthority.htm

 

Top 10 father facts
http://www.tldm.org/News7/fatherhood2.htm

Feminism:
Vatican warns that feminism is "lethal" to families
http://www.tldm.org/news7/feminism.htm

 

Marxist roots of radical feminism
http://www.tldm.org/news5/radical.htm

 

Robert Bork on radical feminism
http://www.tldm.org/news5/bork%5Ffeminism.htm

 

Reflections on "women's liberation"
http://www.tldm.org/news5/reflections.htm

Discipline:
Helping your children grow in maturity through discipline
http://www.tldm.org/news7/ChildDiscipline2.htm

Spare the rod, spoil the child
http://www.tldm.org/news6/child.discipline.htm

Dr. Laura advises parents to use "swift and terrible" correction for defiant children
http://www.tldm.org/news7/DrLaura2.htm

The dangers of Ritalin
http://www.tldm.org/news6/ritalin.htm

Are you an "escapist" parent?
http://www.tldm.org/news6/parents1.htm

A major source of today's parenting problems is the psychologizing of our culture
http://www.tldm.org/news6/children2.htm

Links...

Fatherless boys at risk, Fathering magazine
http://www.fathermag.com/809/sanfrancisco.shtml

Research shows that fatherhood really matters, Tallahassee.com, April 20, 2002
http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/news/opinion/3100697.htm

Air-brushing dads out of the picture, Carey Roberts, June 8, 2004
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/roberts/040608

Yes, fathers are essential, Carey Roberts, July 15, 2004
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/roberts/040615

Turning men into milquetoasts, Chuck Baldwin, April 5, 2005
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/baldwin/050405

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A great obligation to go forward... "It is not by accident that you are called by My Mother, for it is by merit and the prayers that have risen to Heaven for your salvation.  For those who have received the grace to hear the Message from Heaven, you have a great obligation to go forward and bring this Message to your brothers and sisters.  Do not expect a rest upon your earth, for you will have eternal rest very soon." - Jesus, June 12, 1976

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